Emails – High Priestess Muckity Muck

As I’ve mentioned previously, I organize 7 Meetups of my own, I also assist with two other groups. I’ve also mentioned I get the most ridiculous emails from members and non-members alike.

With my own groups I have rules for the membership. The point behind them is to keep members mindful and responsible for their membership and actions. Essentially, please participate and don’t be a jerk.

When someone applies for membership with my Meetup groups they need to answer a few questions before they can be admitted into the group’s membership. They’re basic questions such as an introduction, who is your favorite pagan author or what’s your favorite divination tool, and what do you hope to find within our group.

There’s one additional question asking if you’ve read and agree to abide by the group’s membership rules. Within the rules I’ve added a “pass code” that tells you what answer to give for this particular question. It’s obvious, but at the same time they need to read the entire list of 10 rules first.

The question looks like this:

Have you read the Rules for Membership listed on the “Pages” tab and agree to abide by them? **THIS IS A TEST!** There is only 1 correct answer we seek from you and it’s hidden within the rules – please read them!

Most people blindly place a Yes or some other answer that is similar to yes. Sometimes they’ll leave me long winded answers that mean pretty much nothing. When it’s clear to me they likely didn’t read the rules (no passcode) I’ll post a quick note to their profile thanking them for the request and then tell them even more about there being a passcode and to please change that answer.

Most people are super cool about it, read it, laugh that they missed it and move along. Some straight up never understand what I’m talking about. However one person took offense over it. Well, not the question or the passcode or the rules or any thing known in this world as logic.

So one day I receive a request to join my OC Witches Meetup, but they didn’t answer the question regarding the rules with the passcode. I posted the following message to their profile:

Hello [NAME], Thank you for your membership request. Please take a moment to thoroughly read our Rules for Membership. There is a hidden passcode which you are to use as the answer for the question regarding the rules. Once you’ve made the appropriate change I can add you to our group’s membership.

In response I received the following:

Meetup Message from: [NAME], via Orange County Witches Meetup

Hello           

First of all Blessed B. I am not changing any of my profile. I am a High Priestess of my three meetup groups. when u told me to do that. That was straight across slap my face and disrespectful toward me and my covens. I changed my mind about joining your group.

I opened this email and was utterly perplexed as to what this person was talking about. I even went back and double checked my message to make sure I hadn’t mistakenly requested something inappropriately.

Nope. All seems to be normal, nothing particularly odd and no requests that were inappropriate or rude. So then what is the “straight across slap my face and disrespectful” part? Seriously, I had no idea what might have been lost in translation there. I sent the following email.

Meetup Message from: MistressPrime, Organizer of Orange County Witches Meetup

RE: Hello

Hello [NAME],

So, as I understand you, because I asked you to read my group’s membership rules and change your answer on that one question to the correct answer, which is deliberately hidden within the rules as a means to ensure that people actually read the rules instead of saying yes only to break them immediately because they never actually read them, was a slap in YOUR face and your covens?

To begin with, you did request to join my Meetup group. I did not ask you as I don’t even know you. As for bantering about your title… I have been practicing witchcraft since 1982, am an ordained Elder High Priestess of my coven, a high priestess in 2 other traditions, I run 7 Meetup groups and have so for the last 10 years, I speak at Universities and colleges about Wicca and Witchcraft, have been on the front page of the OC Register, interviewed by CBS News along with multiple radio stations, had a national TV show regarding Wicca, am an award-winning (Pagan Pride LA 2007) internationally known witch. However, within my Meetup group all are welcome regardless if they have a high muckity muck title or are brand new on the path to finding their spirituality.

It astounds me that by making a very simple request for you to comply to a truly basic set of rules of conduct would be considered a “slap in the face” to someone that claims a leadership role, especially another Meetup organizer that should know how difficult having hundreds of members can be without requiring some basic outline of decorum.

If reading the rules and putting in the correct answer to that ONE question is really too insulting for you to bother to do, then please do not bother joining our group. There is nothing so special about you that you alone must bypass a basic respect of our group. So please, remove your request as you wish.

However, if you have re-thought your initial response and decided it was made in haste, and you can make that one change to your profile, please do so and know you will be welcome in our group and at our events.

MistressPrime
OC Witches Meetup Organizer

No response.

I decided I would allow them time to remove their request from our group. After four months passed I decided to remove them since there was no activity.

However, I can’t just remove them, Meetup requires organizers to post a message as to why we’re removing them. I sent the following with their notice of removal:

[NAME],

Your last communication with me was very unkind and unhappy. You stated that you were planning to withdraw your membership request. It’s been over 4 months, however your request is still pending. I left it there so you could remove your request yourself. Enough time has passed to allow you to follow through and there has been no activity. I will now remove your membership request.

MistressPrime
OC Witches Meetup Organizer

At this point I honestly thought that they moved on already and that their removal would be the end of it.

Of course not!

Early the next morning I received this email:

Meetup Message from: [NAME], via Orange County Witches Meetup

Merry Meet
First of all U were rid, unkind and unhappy,very disrespectful toward me. U told me to rewrite my profile . I told u I am leaving the High Priestess thing only and U told to delete it. I think U need to recheck yourself and dont disrespect people like that has been practicing witchcraft and wicca for a long time. U dont know me so dont judge me then. I got a very successful Pagan group here in Los Angeles.

[NAME]

*sigh*

This individual makes no sense to me. What are they even going on about? Truthfully at this point I decided I no longer needed to be nice about it and sent the following message:

Meetup Message from: MistressPrime

RE: Merry Meet

[NAME],

Are you smoking crack??? My request had nothing to do with you changing anything in your profile about who you were. You, however, failed to READ the instructions on your profile. The request was to change the answer regarding reading our membership rules. That’s it! I don’t give a crap what title you think you need to parade around. No one gives a shit about your titles. You just needed to READ THE RULES, something you clearly think too highly of yourself to bother doing.

For someone that claims a leadership title and to have “been practicing witchcraft and wicca for a long time” it really doesn’t show. I’ve been practicing for 30 years. I’ve been running this Meetup group for 10 years. You’ve been doing this for, how long? Not as long as me. Yet, you’ve never once shown me any respect.

You have a very strange concept of what is rude. By not bothering to follow the very simple and easy instructions and refusing to read our membership rules you were being rude and disrespectful to our Meetup group. From the beginning you have been condescending, insulting, illogical, and frequently seem up in arms about things that aren’t event being discussed. You sound like a crazy person off their medication.

I removed your membership request because after 4 months you did not do so. All this, of course, is AFTER you already sent me a ridiculous and asinine email. I was doing what you told me that you yourself would do, but clearly never did. So to send me an outraged message after you proved you don’t even follow your own plan-of-action seems utterly ludicrous.

Also, learn to spell. What’s wrong with taking a few moments and making sure that your message is using full words and proper grammar? To do so helps ensure that the person reading your message clearly understands what the fuck you’re trying to say. Otherwise, it sounds like you’re a child throwing a temper tantrum.

All of your crazy fucking drama has given me one blessing… that you are not a member of any of my groups. You and your idiotic bullshit wouldn’t last very long in our group. Well, of course, you weren’t even capable of making it past the request to join, so that only proves my point.

MistressPrime
OC Witches Meetup Organizer

Yeah, I went THERE.

One of the things most people don’t know is that many of the Meetup organizers are friends and talk to one another. We communicate about a variety of things; advice, assistance, and problem members. When the first set of emails occurred I happen to have a conversation with some of the Meetup organizers of groups that this individual is a member of. So out of curiosity I asked them about this person. Turns out I dodged a bullet with that one as they were already a problem member with a couple of groups. Yikes!

I don’t care what or how many titles you do or do not have, how long or short your time has been on your spiritual path, or if you’re in a coven or a solitary practitioner. It makes no difference to me. When a person comes to my Meetup events they’ll see that all are treated equally. In the end we’re all just people who are looking to connect with each other. It makes no sense to sabotage that process by throwing your weighted titles around in the hopes of evoking false respect from strangers. That’s just silly, so don’t do it.

RANDOM MUSIC

*NSFW*

This rendition is by an amazing group from Iceland! The harmonies, the beatboxing, and the overall styling on this cover make it outstanding.

Cover of Cee Lo Green’s “Fuck You” by 3 Voices & Beatur