On Sunday Chris and I went to my favorite ramen house in all of OC, Kairakutei in Tustin. It’s a small cash-only noodle house, but very popular so sometimes there’s a wait.
Not long after we were seated a family came in and sat at the table next to us. They had a small baby, perhaps a year (I admit I’m not good with judging baby ages). He had cute chubby cheeks and was wearing adorable little stripy pants with a monkey on the back of them. He was, much like my cats, very taken by Chris and kept turning around to stare at him.
Chris immediately went into a game of peek-a-boo. I’ve seen him do this before with his cousin’s baby. Through lunch Chris looked at the baby, grabbed my hand, looked back at me and said, “I want one for my very own”.
My sarcastic inside voice immediately thought, “I don’t think they have those on the menu here. Mmmmm… baby back ribs.” Lol!
When Chris and I first started dating we immediately talked about kids. I wanted to get that discussion out into the open because of our age difference; he’s 14 years younger than me and I turn 43 next month. My concern was that if he did want kids, but wanted to wait 10 years, then it might not be the best idea for us to get too involved. Frankly, I don’t know if I can or will be able to have or adopt a child 5 years from now because of my age, much less 10 years from now, which is why I opened the conversation so early on.
At the time the subject was broached Chris stated he didn’t want kids. I wasn’t entirely sure he would continue to feel that way as time went on, in fact I was worried that we might get together then years down the road, when it’s too late, he’d change his mind. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t advocating we have a kid immediately either. I just wanted us to be on the same page.
This past July we attended the Obon Festival at the OC Buddhist Church. Families arrived with all their children in yukata and happi ready to celebrate and I think I was sitting there wistfully watching them. I believe it was in that moment that Chris started to genuinely think about us having kids and a life together as a family.
The day we announced we were engaged his mother told him that his father had been hinting about grandchildren. When we saw them on Thanksgiving his mother told us that we were lucky to have parents willing to babysit our children.
Well, you don’t need to hit me over the head with a 2×4; I get it! Mind you, WE (Chris and I) hadn’t said anything yet about even wanting children, we just announced we were engaged. But I suppose that is an assumed thing, get married then have children.
I’m also aware that when I finally do have a child they’re going to have a lot of aunts and uncles, many of whom have already told me they plan to spoil any child I have. Our children are going to be very loved, that’s for sure.
I do look forward to raising children, but being pregnant, and giving birth… not so much. It kind of terrifies me, actually. I’m sure that when the time comes I’ll get over most of that fear. I hope I do, anyway.
Ulytau (Kazakh: Ұлытау), literally meaning “the holy mountain”, is a popular instrumental folk metal trio from Kazakhstan. Their music combines the sound of the violin and electric guitar with the dombra, a traditional two stringed instrument from their country.
I learned about this group in 2009 through a friend on Facebook. This trio is quite amazing not only do they play original metal music, but they do metal versions of classical music as well. I wish there was better access to information and music from them. Though they’ve gotten more accessible since I first heard about them, they’re still limited.
Ulytau – Terisqaqpai