Last New Year’s Eve I was at a party being held by one of my geek Meetup groups. Even though the party had many of my friends in attendance, some of my closest friends were elsewhere at other gatherings. My boyfriend (at the time) was spending the evening with his kids and their mother. I was feeling hurt and disappointed. Spending some time without him gave me the opportunity to re-examine our relationship. I had some hope we could make things work, but I believe I was just in denial. I really couldn’t see how things would be able to work out for us.
He and I have actually known one another my entire life. He was about 5 years old at the time, but he says remembers the day my parents brought me home. We grew up in the same neighborhood a few doors down from each other. We’d also dated for a short time previously, 20 years ago.
Frankly, I was anxious, hurt, and generally unhappy when 2012 came along. 2011 had not ended well with the loss of our baby. After the miscarriage we spent less and less time together and were often at odds with each other. It wasn’t a real surprise that we broke up by the end of January. I have to say, though I was hurt, I was also very relieved. I felt stressed and anxiety-ridden through the whole of our very topsy-turvy relationship.
In February, despite having split up it was clear we still missed one another. I would still wait for his phone calls or text messages. I was still “hooked” and it drove my friends nuts. To say they disliked him is a bit of an understatement. They were actually very glad when we broke up and felt it was ok at that moment to tell me, sometimes in great detail, how much they disliked him and why.
I remember driving up to San Jose with Megumi to go to Pantheacon over President’s Day weekend and getting occasional text messages from the ex asking how the drive was or telling me what he was up to, but the communications were sporadic and inconsistent so that just annoyed me and would leave me feeling distracted and on edge. Thankfully by the time we got to Pantheacon I was able to let go and enjoy time with my friends and the greater pagan community.
By the time Chris came along in March I was definitely not looking. In fact, when we met I wasn’t even interested in him. His head was shaved, he was wearing a Slayer t-shirt and shorts, and he looked much older than he actually is. To me he looked like a life-sized older version of Bobby Hill from King of the Hill.
Chris, however, says he was interested in me the moment he saw my smile. That has got to be one of the sweetest things any man has ever said to me.
Somewhere between March and April he managed to change my mind. May 1st was our first date and by May 13th we’d been on 7 dates and decided to make our relationship exclusive.
The rest of the year kind of flew by after that. By November we got engaged and it’s been holiday season since then so lots of parties and events with family; a whirlwind of activity.
This time I spent this New Years Eve at a small dinner party hosted by one of my dearest friends. The guest list was primarily good friends, many of whom are a part of our bridal party. We had a delicious dinner then got silly playing Xbox Kinect games. Chris spent much of the night sitting next to me, being attentive and ridiculously sweet. Everyone was engaged in sparkling conversation over a cacophony of laughter and obviously having a delightful time. Such a sharp contrast to how I rang in the previous year.
So, here it is now the 1st of January 2013, a year filled with hope, potential, and opportunity. It reminds me of reading a good book for the first time. You’re not sure where the adventure might take you, but hopefully it will be an enjoyable one. I’m looking forward to it!
Omnia is a self-described “neoceltic pagan folk” band based in The Netherlands and whose members over the years have had Irish, Dutch, Cornish, Belgian and Persian backgrounds.
This song was originally intended to be called “the Bilbo Boogie” but due to copyright law they decided to call it Fee Ra Huri instead. This video was filmed in Köln (D) during the “OMNIA I don’t Speak Human Tour”.
OMNIA – Fee Ra Huri