Special Effing Snowflake

I’ve been running Meetup events for 7-13 different groups for nearly 13 years now. Over the years I’ve learned what does and what does not work for each group. At some point we realized that membership rules were necessary as it seemed some things that we assumed most people would know wasn’t always the case. Thus I created a list of rules. They are very simple, but ultimately necessary reminders to ensure the group works harmoniously.

Lately more members are joining using the Meetup app on their phone. This is convenient for members, however, the app lacks a lot of the information available to members using the desktop version, such as our membership rules, message board, photos, etc. As such I’ve had to message members wishing to join our groups and include the rules so they can be aware.

How is it I know they didn’t read the rules? Based on their response to the question regarding the rules. Within the rules is a very specific reponse requested. It started because people would lie, automatically respond with a yes, and when they break a rule they’d claim they didn’t know. It became a big hassle that required more management on my part. The hope was to prevent drama after the fact. If they give the correct response I’ll know they read all the rules.

Unfortunately… there are the occasional individuals who insist on creating the drama before they even join the group. Below is the profile submitted by the most recent special snowflake. I changed their name and a few identifying things because it’s unnecessary to out this individual. For me it’s more about the interaction and how they didn’t seem to recognize I wasn’t really asking much at all of them, but they made it to be about something it wasn’t and then into a bigger issue than it need be, especially on their final reply in our IMs back and forth.

I look at things this way… if a person feels they’re far too special to follow very basic rules and directions they likely have no respect for the rules or our group and therefore it may be best for all involved if they don’t join our group.

I’m told I have a lot of patience with difficult people, some days it really takes all that I have.


Special Snowflake C.Ht

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Hometown: Los Angeles

What, within our group, do you hope to find?

Let’s see how well you can follow directions. Have you read the Rules for Membership listed on the About Us section and agree to abide by them?
Yes (It was later changed to – Yes I AGREE! after my initial IM)

What, if any, tradition of witchcraft do you practice?
Goddess, Meditation, Kabbalah.

How did you hear about us?


MistressPrime 6:18 PM

Sent from Orange County Witches Meetup

Hello Special Snowflake C.Ht,

Thank you for your interest in the OC Witches Meetup. It appears that you have not yet read our membership rules. I have provided them for you here. Please take a moment to thoroughly read them and change your profile answer regarding the rules accordingly. Once you’ve made that change to your membership request message me here to let me know and then I can add you to our group membership.

Thank you,
OC Witches Meetup Organizer


  1. All members are required to RSVP with a Yes or No to each of the monthly Meetup events. These are the events held on the 2nd Wednesday or the 4th Thursday of the month at 7pm. Locations can vary.
  2. Participation is required. All members are required to attend a monthly Meetup at least once every 6 months.
  3. If a member is unable to comply to monthly Meetup attendance requirements due to school or work, they will need to contact MistressPrime privately to discuss their options.
  4. Members will ensure that their RSVP is current by checking the event listing. If you are currently a No, but are able to attend, please change your RSVP to Yes. If you are a Yes, but are not able to attend, please change your RSVP to a No. These changes should occur by 1 hour before the Meetup if possible.
  5. If you are listed as a YES, but discover you are unable to attend at the last minute (less than 1 hour prior to Meetup), please drop me a private email (up to 24 hours after the Meetup) to ensure you are not listed as a No Show. Members are allowed a maximum of 3 No Shows before being removed for attendance issues. However, if you are listed as a No or have not RSVPed at all and show up, we may have you sing a song, or do a dance, or a card trick, or quiz you on your geek knowledge, or have a staring contest or… I think you get the point. Please remember to RSVP.
  6. All suggestions for events should be sent to MistressPrime directly.
  7. All members must read the Message Board Rules post prior to making any message board posts.
  8. Members are prohibited from posting personal contact info in their profiles, message board, or in RSVP/comments for event listings. For direct contact with specific members please use the email option provided by Meetup.com.
  9. For the safety of all, members will not post or promote the location of the Meetup event on any comment, RSVP comment, or any other website.
  10. All members will be respectful to this group, the members, and it’s rules of conduct.
  11. If indeed you have read all these rules and agree to abide by them, please reply with a “Yes I have. Yes I will.” with the current date (eg: Yes I have. Yes I will. May 13, 2012) on your profile where it asks if you have read and agree to abide by our rules.

Should a member fail to meet these requirements they will be removed from this group.


Special Snowflake C.Ht 6:38 PM

I thought I did, what did I do wrong, what is it in my profile that is like an advertising?

MistressPrime 6:49 PM

Special Snowflake, please thoroughly read the rules provided. Once you have I’m certain you’ll recognize that writing Yes I AGREE isn’t what was requested. I assure you, your profile does not look like advertising.

Special Snowflake C.Ht 7:30 PM

If your talking about my title, I can’t remove it, since this is how I signed up to meetup and I Owen 3 meetup which in no way is a competition or do I want to go to OC after your clients. I am in Los Angeles and if the C.HT is the killer, I wish you all the best. I will not let someone’s fear to force me stop presenting who I am. Hopefully it’s not the Cht and if it’s something else, I don’t get it!

MistressPrime 7:54 PM

Again… no. I don’t care about your title or how many Meetups you organize. Why are you making this about things that it is not? Please thoroughly read the rules and follow the listed directions.

Special Snowflake C.Ht 7:55 PM

I did several time and like I said I don’t get it, and if you can’t be specific, I can’t help it but say, thank you!


Special Snowflake C.Ht 1:19 AM

Because I am not clear on what you are asking, and I did, so I guess i don’t understand what you have posted. Sorry my English is not my first language and I don’t underhand your request. Any ways thanks any ways.

MistressPrime 1:21 AM

Special Snowflake, read #11.

Special Snowflake C.Ht 1:28 AM

OK I get it, you want me to be specific with Yes I have. Yes I will and the date, wow is this really necessarily? Isn’t Yes I Agree i the same as Yes I have or Yes I will? You really need to learn about the learning styles, because kinesthetic learning people like me will have hard time excepting these commends. MistressPrime kinesthetic learners are not visual or auditory, or gustatory, they need to feel the emotion behind your command, and I agree is how I feel comfortable, and I am sorry, I cannot say the words that mean nothing to my brain, because my brain rejects Yes I will and Yes I have! Too bad, but if this is what it is, I don’t belong in your group. Thank you for trying to help. Best of the luck!

I suspect the fact that Special Snowflake kept bringing the “advertising” issue up was likely because they were planning to use my Meetup group to hunt for new clients. If so, they were being deceptive with their motives for joining our group and this is part of the reason why members need to be approved prior to joining.


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