Category Archives: Relationships

Time Keeps On Slippin’

Holey guacamole, where does the time go?! Life got super busy again, and frankly time just slipped on by.

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Me and Chris at Ragged Point Inn along California 1.

Well, as you may (or may not) have assumed, in the time since my second to last post I did indeed get married. We took a week off for our honeymoon. We had amazing, wonderful, and horrifying adventures. If I ever get to a point of wanting to retell it all I will explain in a different post. Once we returned we began to settle into our new cohabitation and married life together; so far it’s been quite wonderful.

June and July, all I remember are veterinarian visits for my cat, BBK. So many freaking visits to heal him for what turned out to be a simple issue, but it just seemed like the vets were guessing and over medicating him. Because of this, it messed up his insulin and his heart stopped, two different times in one day, each time at a different hospital; regular and emergency. It was horrible. Luckily they got him back up and healing and the initial issue for which he was being treated is gone.

Earlier in the year I had committed myself to hosting a class reunion in early August for my elementary and middle schools. So in the midst of all the vet and pet drama I also needed to focus on putting this event together. It was a bit of work, but fortunately I had some help from a dear friend and my husband.

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Tron… I remember dropping a lot of quarters into that game for months after it came out.

The reunion was a wonderful day! It started out as a BBQ picnic in Mile Square (because it is) Regional Park. People brought their yearbooks and one person brought their gym uniform from middle school. We all marveled at how tiny the uniform was and essentially how not tiny we are now. This same person also brought several toys from the 80’s and was prepared to play a selection of 80’s music for us, but the cd player didn’t want to work.

As the sun began to set we packed up and headed to a classmate’s home. He has a large assortment of 80’s video arcade games, perhaps, about 30 of them. All my favorites were there: Tempest, Mach 3, Paperboy,  and Tron. We played for a few hours and spent more time catching up on each others lives.

August was also the beginning of the countdown to the month of weddings. Spent time coordinating with fellow bridesmaids and bride to choose bridesmaid dresses, as well as coordinate with friends to get the wedding shower of wedding #2 (now known as wedding #3) together. That was a minor disaster. What is it about weddings that brings the most “interesting” behaviour out in people? Honestly, that rant could be an entire post or two on it’s own.

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MistressPrime’s 6th Annual Mega Meetup Picnic

September is just 5 days in and already I’m booked for the month. I hosted my 6th annual Mega Meetup picnic on the 1st. An event meant to bring people together for a massive topic crossover social gathering. Last year we had 13 groups and 50 attendees. Lots of great crossovers from anime, Star Trek, and Harry Potter to Wicca, Golden Age pirates, and music, and so much more. This year was a smaller affair of only 7 groups and 30 people. The ridiculous heat and humidity didn’t help and likely kept folks away, but this event normally takes place in May not September. Luckily we had a nice location with lots of shade and a breeze.

This month I’m hosting the co-ed wedding shower for wedding #3 and the next day I’m officiating wedding #1. Wedding #1: My cousin, an officer in the Air Force, is going to marry the love of his life, his same-sex partner of 8 years. I’m truly excited for the two of them, and incredibly honoured he asked me to officiate. It’s going to be a lovely ceremony set on the beach at sunset.

The following week I’ll officiate wedding #2 for my BFF. They are one of my successful matchmaking couples.

Then that moves us into October, where the first weekend I will be emceeing and managing the entertainment stage for Pagan Pride Los Angeles. The following week is our girls night/bachelorette party for the bride of wedding #3… industrial music club. Then wedding #3, another example of my successful matchmaking skills, and this time I am the matron of honour.

Weddings, weddings, weddings! So much excitement! 🙂

After all the celebrations we cap off a month long of flurried activity with my favourite holiday of the year: Samhain (Sow-wen), or as most of you refer to it -Halloween. It’s the Wiccan New Year! It’s also a home-slide into more holidays and fun for the next several months. Looking forward to a plethora of celebratory events!

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Class Reunion

I grew up in Huntington Beach, California. A lovely beach town also well known for it’s surfing community. For the record, despite having grown up there and my Hawaiian heritage, I don’t surf.

The neighborhood I grew up in was loaded with kids! For Kindergarten I went to a school just behind the houses across the street from me. It was a convenient location for my first year. However, the next year the district decided to shut that school down so they shuffled many of us to a school across the railroad tracks in the neighborhood next to mine.

I spent the next 8 years with the same group of kids in most of my classes. Grades 1 – 6 were spent at our elementary school. However, grades 7-8 was a collection of students from three different elementary schools around our district to make up our middle school which was next door to my elementary school. Once we graduated from 8th grade students were then separated and sent to two different high schools, rivals.

To me a reunion with these folks would be quite enjoyable. In fact, it was at my 20 year high school reunion I realized this. I ran into a handful of people I knew from back in elementary and middle school days and it was an unexpectedly wonderful reconnection for me. I hadn’t realized that I’d missed them until that moment. It happens, life moved pretty quickly for most of us after we graduated high school.

There are a handful of “kids” from my old neighborhood who’ve recently reconnected on Facebook. It’s been great getting reacquainted with them, some of whom I haven’t seen in nearly 30 years!

A recent discussion prompted the idea of a “class reunion”.  It was requested that we specify the reunion folks to be only those within our graduating class as opposed to the class the year before or year after. As I was the most proficient with Facebook of those in the discussion, I was asked to create a Facebook group. I added all the classmates I currently have on my friends list. We have a tentative reunion date set for Aug 3rd this year so I also created a SAVE THE DATE event for it.

I already know we have people coming out from as far away as New York and San Francisco to attend our shin dig.

Is it weird that I’m already helping plan a big event like this when I’m still getting ready for my wedding shower, bachelorette party, and wedding next month, as well as my 6th annual Mega Meetup Picnic this summer?

I think I can swing it. I kinda live for this stuff! 🙂

RANDOM MUSIC

“Someday” – Los Lobos

Los Lobos is one of my all-time favorite bands. I have almost all of their albums and have seen them perform more than any other band.

Leftovers and Entitlement

It fails to meet logic for me, the thought that I have done anything wrong to an acquaintance simply because I’m dating and about to marry her ex-boyfriend. It boggles and baffles the mind.

A girl I’ve know on a very casual basis for the last 7 years happens to be the second of Chris’ 3 ex-girlfriends. They broke up about 5-6 years ago after dating a mere 4 months. They split because she’d cheated on him. As I’ve heard it explained by Chris, her, and others who were present during that time, Chris was quite hurt by her reckless and disrespectful actions.

Since that split they’d dated other people. She’d even moved out of state for a man she’d fallen in love with and since moved back here and recently back out of state again.

Chris and I are 4 months from getting married. The proposal was made, the engagement ring is on, families have been introduced, the wedding party has been selected, and wedding details are being ironed out. He and I truly couldn’t be happier.

However, she’s still bitchy about it all! I’m entirely perplexed at her thought process here. She posted the image above just this past weekend then complained how she dislikes when her friends date her ex-boyfriends, which on the surface sounds awkward at best. However, she fails to post the real details, at least about our situation, because apparently there are other friends of her dating or marrying her other ex-boyfriends.

I guess the fact that she blew it with Chris by cheating on him and going for another man is irrelevant. Or the fact that it was only a 4 month relationship 6 years ago. For gosh sakes move the heck on all ready! Or how about the fact that she and I are not remotely best friends, gal pals, or even particularly close friends. I know her but not very well and we’ve never really just hung out and been buddies. Friendly, yes, but nothing all too deeply connected as to deserve such undying devotion to our friendship that I should overlook her ex, my man, in favor of her.

Heck, she doesn’t even really want him back, told me so herself! Yet for some reason she considers it an insult to our “friendship” that I’m dating and now marrying her ex. Essentially she likened Chris to a “leftover” which just furthers my confusion regarding why she’s remotely bothered by our relationship.

Just days after Chris and I began dating she threw a tantrum and caused some drama. Funny thing is it’s because of her drama that Chris and I even started dating to begin with!

Well, that was back in May. Here it is now January, of a brand new year, and she’s still whining about how she’s been so disrespected because we’re dating and all the worse that we’re getting married. One of her friends replied “Gross.”

Gross?

Another posted, “I just threw up a little in my mouth”. Really?! Just pathetic.

Though she disconnected from me on various other social media, she opted to keep me on her friends list on Facebook. I realized right off the bat it was so she could keep an eye on things. Honestly, I didn’t care. It wasn’t like I had anything to hide. Besides she does all her slag talk on her own page. It’s possible she actually hides some of the really unpleasant stuff from my view, but I have no idea. So when that pink image ended up on my feed I saw it, it was hard to miss. Then I read her comment just below the image: “…more than one “friend” has married or is going to marry one of my ex’s.” She further posted, “I would really hate to think that one of my “friends” had sex with the man I was going to marry… very gross indeed.”

Ugh, seriously?! That’s terribly immature. Just grow up!

Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t wish anything bad on her, unless you consider pulling her head out of her backside is a bad thing. I guess I’m just really surprised that she would still hold out any issue after this much time. She genuinely seems to feel I’ve done her wrong. I greatly disagree and think it’s all ludicrous.

Originally I believed that in time she would get over it and move on. She moved out of state and has the opportunity to take her life in any direction she desires, so it’s sad to see she’d rather sit in misery complaining about something that is not going to change in any way just to make her happy. I will NOT let got of Chris because she feels entitled to him simply because she slept with him first. She doesn’t own him or me and we owe her no allegiance. So her only options are to either get over it and move forward in her life and find what genuinely makes her happy, or to continue to waste more time wallowing in her unhappiness by making insulting and trashy remarks about us over something she has no entitlement to or control over.

I’m sitting here pondering, what in the world makes a person have such an unrealistic and arrogant outlook on life? She ruined and thus ended her relationship with Chris by choice. She never made our association much of a friendship beyond a casual association. So, how can someone with such disregard for Chris insist on a “hands off” policy by all the women she knows? Why would she feel she deserves such devotion when she herself has not yet displayed any devotion with the two people she feels a need to impose this upon?

I do realize that sometimes there are things in life that I’m just not going to understand. Apparently, this is one of them.

 

RANDOM MUSIC

Tummy Talk: An Epic Drum Solo

What a Difference a Year Makes!

Alone-wallpapers (6)Last New Year’s Eve I was at a party being held by one of my geek Meetup groups. Even though the party had many of my friends in attendance, some of my closest friends were elsewhere at other gatherings. My boyfriend (at the time) was spending the evening with his kids and their mother. I was feeling hurt and disappointed. Spending some time without him gave me the opportunity to re-examine our relationship. I had some hope we could make things work, but I believe I was just in denial. I really couldn’t see how things would be able to work out for us.

He and I have actually known one another my entire life. He was about 5 years old at the time, but he says remembers the day my parents brought me home. We grew up in the same neighborhood a few doors down from each other. We’d also dated for a short time previously, 20 years ago.

Frankly, I was anxious, hurt, and generally unhappy when 2012 came along. 2011 had not ended well with the loss of our baby. After the miscarriage we spent less and less time together and were often at odds with each other. It wasn’t a real surprise that we broke up by the end of January. I have to say, though I was hurt, I was also very relieved. I felt stressed and anxiety-ridden through the whole of our very topsy-turvy relationship.

In February, despite having split up it was clear we still missed one another. I would still wait for his phone calls or text messages. I was still “hooked” and it drove my friends nuts. To say they disliked him is a bit of an understatement. They were actually very glad when we broke up and felt it was ok at that moment to tell me, sometimes in great detail, how much they disliked him and why.

I remember driving up to San Jose with Megumi to go to Pantheacon over President’s Day weekend and getting occasional text messages from the ex asking how the drive was or telling me what he was up to, but the communications were sporadic and inconsistent so that just annoyed me and would leave me feeling distracted and on edge. Thankfully by the time we got to Pantheacon I was able to let go and enjoy time with my friends and the greater pagan community.

Bobby Hill
Bobby Hill

By the time Chris came along in March I was definitely not looking. In fact, when we met I wasn’t even interested in him. His head was shaved, he was wearing a Slayer t-shirt and shorts, and he looked much older than he actually is. To me he looked like a life-sized older version of Bobby Hill from King of the Hill.

Chris, however, says he was interested in me the moment he saw my smile. That has got to be one of the sweetest things any man has ever said to me.

Somewhere between March and April he managed to change my mind. May 1st was our first date and by May 13th we’d been on 7 dates and decided to make our relationship exclusive.

The rest of the year kind of flew by after that. By November we got engaged and it’s been holiday season since then so lots of parties and events with family; a whirlwind of activity.

newyearschampagneThis time I spent this New Years Eve at a small dinner party hosted by one of my dearest friends. The guest list was primarily good friends, many of whom are a part of our bridal party. We had a delicious dinner then got silly playing Xbox Kinect games. Chris spent much of the night sitting next to me, being attentive and ridiculously sweet. Everyone was engaged in sparkling conversation over a cacophony of laughter and obviously having a delightful time. Such a sharp contrast to how I rang in the previous year.

So, here it is now the 1st of January 2013, a year filled with hope, potential, and opportunity. It reminds me of reading a good book for the first time. You’re not sure where the adventure might take you, but hopefully it will be an enjoyable one. I’m looking forward to it!

RANDOM MUSIC

Omnia is a self-described “neoceltic pagan folk” band based in The Netherlands and whose members over the years have had Irish, Dutch, Cornish, Belgian and Persian backgrounds.

This song was originally intended to be called “the Bilbo Boogie” but due to copyright law they decided to call it Fee Ra Huri instead. This video was filmed in Köln (D) during the “OMNIA I don’t Speak Human Tour”.

OMNIA – Fee Ra Huri

Wicca, Weddings, and Family

My fiancé and I are in fairly regular contact throughout the day, nothing major, just simple connections at certain times of the day. Usually updates on our busy schedules and comforting words of encouragement or love notes to make each day a little brighter.

We only text each other in person when we are unable to talk out loud.
We only text each other in person when we are unable to talk out loud.

After returning home from his martial arts class last night Chris sent me the following text:

Just spoke to mom about a bunch of things: your gift list, Xmas breakfast, and Wicca. She had questions and felt better asking than assuming. 🙂

I read that and immediately called him!

The conversation went something like this:

 Me: “Hey! Sooo… what did she ask???”

Chris: “Oh she just wanted to know more about Wicca and what it meant. She asked if she’d heard correctly about you mentioning your coven”

Me: “Uh… ok.” *sounding a tiny bit worried*

Chris: “Mom is pretty open-minded. She likes to watch those episodes about Ancient Egypt on the History Channel so she has a bit of an understanding about pre-Christian religion.”

After they talked I guess both Chris and his mom realized they had concerns regarding his grandmother. His Italian Catholic grandmother from New Jersey, more specifically.  Luckily, this isn’t news for me; we’ve already talked at length about this from the very beginning.

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I then reminded him about my families. On my father’s side my great-aunts are such devout Catholics they used to go on Pope tours! They are quite proud to be Polish and when he was still alive they followed John Paul II around from location to location as though they were Dead-heads and he was the Grateful Dead. (I’m certain there’s a joke in there somewhere. I shall resist.)

In contrast, my mom’s side, who are also Catholic, are Filipino Catholic and thus a bit more superstitious, but also incredibly devout Catholics, especially when it came to baptisms, weddings, and funerals.

And then we have my birth mother’s side of the family. They’re predominantly Mormon, with many of them being the Temple garment wearing type of Mormons. So, very devout.

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Mormon Temple in Anchorage, AK

Members from all three of these families will be invited to our wedding.

I told him last night that how people behave or react to our choice of religion or wedding ceremony is simply not something we can waste time worrying about. There is the chance that they’ll be gracious enough to attend with an open mind and enjoy it for what it is. However, if they have deep issues with it, they don’t need to attend. It would certainly be disappointing if that happened, but then the choice to ruin their opportunity for sharing in our joyous moment was done so by them, not us.

I also suggested that by worrying over it, giving energy to the possibility of problems creates drama where none has yet occurred. That perhaps it would be in our best interest to not yet worry about something that has not shown it’s self to assuredly be an issue. If it does indeed become an issue we’ll deal with it then.

He knew I was right. (This marriage-to-be is already off to a great start!)

I do know that some of my family members are uncomfortable or just critical of my choice of religion, among other things. Those family members in particular are not very close to me, nor have they ever made much of an effort to get to know me anyway, so their criticism of me is irrelevant to my overall well being. In other words, I don’t care what they think. Coincidentally, none of them will be invited to the wedding. 😉

I have other friends where the family religion conflict was such a big issue for the wedding that it brought strife and many tears to the should-be-happy couple.

I’m aware that some situations are complicated, but in my opinion, if the happy couple are paying for their own wedding, the unpleasant and unkind criticism of the couple by family regarding their happy day should be kept to one’s self. It seems unreasonable and selfish to put pressure on a couple to do their ceremony in a way different than what they wish for just to please those who are critical of them.

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This is supposed to be a celebration of love, if you’re bringing hurtful criticism and unreasonable demands to the table it’s time you step back and figure out what your overall motivation is and why you insist on doing such a thing.

Anyway, it seems like more conversations may occur before our wedding, but I’m up for it. Luckily, I have a fair amount of experience explaining Wicca to those with no previous exposure to alternative religions. Such is life outside the broomcloset!

RANDOM MUSIC

Russian pop-music! This song was released in 2005. Arash is an Persian performer, who resides in Sweden. Blestyaschie (Russian: Блестящие, English: The Shining Ones) are a Russian pop group. Though Arash is known for singing in Persian, in this particular song he’s singing in Russian. I love the blending of the cultures in this song. Very fascinating!

Arash Feat. Blestyashchie~ Vostochnye Skazki (Russian: Восточные сказки, English: Oriental Fairytales)