Category Archives: Wedding

Time Keeps On Slippin’

Holey guacamole, where does the time go?! Life got super busy again, and frankly time just slipped on by.

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Me and Chris at Ragged Point Inn along California 1.

Well, as you may (or may not) have assumed, in the time since my second to last post I did indeed get married. We took a week off for our honeymoon. We had amazing, wonderful, and horrifying adventures. If I ever get to a point of wanting to retell it all I will explain in a different post. Once we returned we began to settle into our new cohabitation and married life together; so far it’s been quite wonderful.

June and July, all I remember are veterinarian visits for my cat, BBK. So many freaking visits to heal him for what turned out to be a simple issue, but it just seemed like the vets were guessing and over medicating him. Because of this, it messed up his insulin and his heart stopped, two different times in one day, each time at a different hospital; regular and emergency. It was horrible. Luckily they got him back up and healing and the initial issue for which he was being treated is gone.

Earlier in the year I had committed myself to hosting a class reunion in early August for my elementary and middle schools. So in the midst of all the vet and pet drama I also needed to focus on putting this event together. It was a bit of work, but fortunately I had some help from a dear friend and my husband.

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Tron… I remember dropping a lot of quarters into that game for months after it came out.

The reunion was a wonderful day! It started out as a BBQ picnic in Mile Square (because it is) Regional Park. People brought their yearbooks and one person brought their gym uniform from middle school. We all marveled at how tiny the uniform was and essentially how not tiny we are now. This same person also brought several toys from the 80’s and was prepared to play a selection of 80’s music for us, but the cd player didn’t want to work.

As the sun began to set we packed up and headed to a classmate’s home. He has a large assortment of 80’s video arcade games, perhaps, about 30 of them. All my favorites were there: Tempest, Mach 3, Paperboy,  and Tron. We played for a few hours and spent more time catching up on each others lives.

August was also the beginning of the countdown to the month of weddings. Spent time coordinating with fellow bridesmaids and bride to choose bridesmaid dresses, as well as coordinate with friends to get the wedding shower of wedding #2 (now known as wedding #3) together. That was a minor disaster. What is it about weddings that brings the most “interesting” behaviour out in people? Honestly, that rant could be an entire post or two on it’s own.

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MistressPrime’s 6th Annual Mega Meetup Picnic

September is just 5 days in and already I’m booked for the month. I hosted my 6th annual Mega Meetup picnic on the 1st. An event meant to bring people together for a massive topic crossover social gathering. Last year we had 13 groups and 50 attendees. Lots of great crossovers from anime, Star Trek, and Harry Potter to Wicca, Golden Age pirates, and music, and so much more. This year was a smaller affair of only 7 groups and 30 people. The ridiculous heat and humidity didn’t help and likely kept folks away, but this event normally takes place in May not September. Luckily we had a nice location with lots of shade and a breeze.

This month I’m hosting the co-ed wedding shower for wedding #3 and the next day I’m officiating wedding #1. Wedding #1: My cousin, an officer in the Air Force, is going to marry the love of his life, his same-sex partner of 8 years. I’m truly excited for the two of them, and incredibly honoured he asked me to officiate. It’s going to be a lovely ceremony set on the beach at sunset.

The following week I’ll officiate wedding #2 for my BFF. They are one of my successful matchmaking couples.

Then that moves us into October, where the first weekend I will be emceeing and managing the entertainment stage for Pagan Pride Los Angeles. The following week is our girls night/bachelorette party for the bride of wedding #3… industrial music club. Then wedding #3, another example of my successful matchmaking skills, and this time I am the matron of honour.

Weddings, weddings, weddings! So much excitement! 🙂

After all the celebrations we cap off a month long of flurried activity with my favourite holiday of the year: Samhain (Sow-wen), or as most of you refer to it -Halloween. It’s the Wiccan New Year! It’s also a home-slide into more holidays and fun for the next several months. Looking forward to a plethora of celebratory events!

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The Wedding Dress Blues

I think since we were little girls many of us fantasized about our weddings, especially what our dress would look like. And when I was little I wanted a fancy Cinderella type wedding dress. I grew up down the road from Disneyland, and Cinderella was my favorite princess, so this wasn’t a big surprise.

As I got older my interest shifted. Unlike the masses of brides who do, I did not remotely want a big fancy white wedding dress. I think I lost interest in that somewhere in the late 80’s. All that lace, taffeta, and big poofy sleeves! No thank you.

red velvetFor a time I wanted a long sweeping deep dark red velvet wedding dress. Something slightly reminiscent of the Golden Age of Piracy.

When I got together with Chris and we discussed getting married I decided I wanted something entirely different; a 50’s style swing dress in raspberry red. Brighter, lighter, shorter, and fun.

Then one night while we were sitting in bed talking about our day I was struck with a sudden desire to change our wedding colors entirely. Now instead of raspberry and violet (his favorite color) I wanted to wear a blue dress.

I had picked out a selection of dresses for both our legal ceremony and our religious ceremony that I was potentially interested in and posted them to my Pinterest board – Our Wedding Ideas.

Chris and I agreed on the same dress for our legal ceremony: A Birds Eye View from eShakti. Birds Eye View The dress is navy blue with little black birds with silver edges embroidered on the skirt and at the shoulder. I fell in love with it the minute I saw it.

It comes in three colors: red with black & gray birds, navy with black & silver birds, and black with pink & white birds. I really love both the black and the navy dresses.

So on March 31st we ordered my dress. The description says, “Ships In: 7 Business Days. Transit time usually 7 to 9 Business Days”.

On April 10th I called the company to check on the status of the order… went to voicemail in the middle of the day. It said they would return my call within 24 hours. I left all necessary details: order #, question about status, name, and phone number with area code to be reached. 2 days later… still no call.

Ok.

So, on April 12th I went onto the site and discovered I could leave an email! Cool. I tried 6 times and got booted out of their email system 6 times before I could even finish typing my query. On the 7th attempt I managed to finish, but I never got a confirmation the email went through and never heard back.

The following week I called them again on April 16. I actually got to speak with a real live person! She was very nice and quite confused as to why my order had not yet been processed. She was kind enough to add it was “urgent” as she knew they were already past their normal expected time for shipment. She even added in the notes that the dress was to be my wedding dress in the hopes that this will get them motivated to get my dress out asap.

The next day she called and left a message to tell me my dress would be shipped on or by April 19th.

Wonderful!

But here it is now the 19th of April and my order still says it hasn’t shipped. I called and spoke with the same customer service operator. She was still perplexed and promised she’d continue to look into things. I believe her, but I also believe it’s entirely out of her hands. The dress is in India and she’s in California.

To say I’m disappointed in their service is an understatement. Luckily there’s a little bit of time still before my wedding and it’s possible that it could still arrive in time for our May 13th ceremony.  In the meantime, I need to consider an alternate option.

It’s quite discouraging as they have several dresses I was interested in and had plans to acquire a couple more before the honeymoon. However, I saw no reason to hand over any additional funds to them until they produce the first item I purchased.

And thus I’m a little blue about my little blue dress.

Répondez s’il vous plaît! – RSVP

R.S.V.P. is derived from the French phrase répondez s’il vous plaît, meaning “Please respond.” It doesn’t mean, respond if you feel like it, or take your sweet loving time and maybe respond if you’re bored. It simply means, please respond. So why haven’t you?

Each week I deal with a new set of RSVPs for Meetup events. Years ago I added it as part of the rules of membership for my groups that all members respond when an event is posted. Unfortunately, less than 50% do, and after years of this, it’s hard for me to muster the effort to push much for people to participate.

I penalize them if they RSVP with a Yes and fail to attend without any communication up to 24 hours AFTER the Meetup event has occurred. I have yet to do anything regarding those who simply disregard the requirement to RSVP at all. I do send reminder emails to those who have not responded, but that’s about all.

There’s also a “penalty” if people attend without submitting a Yes RSVP for the event.  They have to sing, tell a joke, tell a story, but do something that will entertain the Meetup group for a couple of minutes. People rarely do this, and some members have done it intentionally to do something silly, clowns that they are.

Chris sees my utter frustration when I’m uncertain how many people to plan for with regards to reserving seating, location space, obtaining supplies, dealing with a caterer, or personally providing food for whichever event this is for.

He’s witnessed me go through this process time and time again with Meetups, large scale parties, and classes that I teach. It’s frustrating when people essentially ignore the request until the last minute and think that it’s acceptable.

Worse yet, they’ve had a month to ponder the request and call the day of. When the host is likely busy and rushing around putting everything together for a big event, they choose to call an hour beforehand looking for directions (to a place they’ve likely been a number of times) or asking for a food suggestion for the potluck. When I host events I’m thorough. All of that information is already posted on the website to which they need to RSVP. In fact, it was likely up there all month, but they not only never bothered to respond, they didn’t even bother to look at the post,read my email with any pertinent details, and waited to call me directly instead… one hour beforehand.

Well, finally, he has come to see exactly how frustrating all of this can be, first-hand, with our Wedding Shower and Civil Ceremony invitations.

It sucks!

Often, the people who are the last to respond, the least considerate with last minute phone calls demanding attention in a time when you’re deep into pulling everything together, are the ones who never host events of this nature. They tend to have zero clue and understanding exactly how much work it takes to put an event together.

An example, thus far the RSVP deadline for the Wedding Shower (not quite as big as the wedding) is this Saturday and we’ve only heard back from a handful of people. My own father hadn’t RSVPed yet! Granted, he’s been a bit distracted and often out of town. I asked him directly and added his response to the spreadsheet. But technically he should have contacted the person actually hosting the event. Oh well.

I’m not sure how stressed I will or will not be regarding next year’s BIG wedding event. We’re talking about 260 people (I’m constantly remembering people I need to add to the list) and getting them to respond.

*deep breath*

So please, if you received an email, an Evite, or an actual mailed paper invitation, do your host the courtesy of responding, preferably sooner than later.

Wedding Registry Chaos

Did you know you’re supposed to have a separate list for gifts for your wedding shower as opposed to your wedding? Well, I didn’t! I just learned that today. I was told I might get a bit of flack from some family by using the same list for the shower as the wedding. And given how much unnecessary drama I’ve already experienced I wanted to do whatever it took to avoid any more, if possible.

Let me just say, I spent a bit of time in panic because of it since I knew most of  those invited to the wedding shower had received or would be receiving their invitations about now.

I did a little research and I’m wondering if this is something more common on the east coast rather than the west coast?

Fortunately, my friend Lorraine graciously offered to host my wedding shower after there was some unfortunate drama with my now former matron of honor.

Lorraine is from the east coast, which is partly why I came to this possible reasoning that this might be an east coast/west coast difference of traditions.

For the record, we’re registered on Amazon.com. They have a wedding registry, as well as a baby registry, but no such thing as a wedding/bridal SHOWER registry.

I was instructed to create a separate list for the shower. One that’s more focused on personal interests rather than household items. Books, lingerie, lotions, spa kits, etc. Like a birthday wish list.

Oh. Really?

Off I went and created a separate Wish List, labeled it “Wedding Shower” then put items for both Chris and I on it. (We’re doing a co-ed shower.) I filled it with things like a compact digital camera, music, anime, karaoke machine, books (mainly cook books), DVDs, a USB signal adapter for a mic (for my voice over work), and some card games (Cards Against Humanity, of course!).

However, there’s no lingerie… honestly, I’m hyper picky and private about things of that nature so I didn’t want to post any of that on there. Also, NO lotions. I’m allergic to most of those type of things. People give them to me all the time and I can’t use them.

I had a concern people would simply look up a wedding registry  instead of searching for a shower wish list, as the shower invitations stated, “registered at” on the bottom. To prevent any confusion regarding the wedding registry info, I ended up changing out the items on our wedding registry with items for the shower list. I then put the wedding registry items on a private wish list to move back after the shower. I just wanted to make sure people could find the “correct” items regardless of whose name they looked up. Hopefully the potential confusion has been averted!

In the meantime, through the course of the day, my web connection kept dropping from a low wifi signal (from within my own home), AND my computer kept overheating and shutting down. Frustrating is an understatement. My computer almost made a lovely smashing noise as I was very nearly apt to toss it out the window. But, cooler heads prevailed and thus I was able to make this post… finally. Only took 5 hours.

RANDOM MUSIC

Turisas – “Stand Up and Fight
This is my favorite songs (for now) off of this album. The lead singer, Mathias Nygård, is also the talented composer behind the orchestration for their music. I have been a fan for a number of years.

Chris’ brother, Michael, gifted this album to him as a belated birthday gift on Sunday. We listened to the entire album together, as a family. That made Easter for me. 🙂

Our Engagement Party

This past Sunday Chris and I had our engagement party. I wanted to utilize the party as a means for both families to meet and get to know one another.

We had it at a local Olive Garden, we expected about 47 people to attend. (FYI, that’s a small party for me.) We’d invited quite a few more, but some friends were out of town that weekend and much of my family lives far far away. So, it was mainly Chris’ family, my father and his girlfriend, and another 20 good friends, most of who are members of the bridal party or are helping with the wedding in some other way, such as officiating.

I’m not really sure why I was so nervous about the whole thing, seems so silly now. I was worried that people would be bored for some unknown reason.

Chris and I had tried our darnedest to make sure everyone was introduced to his family and mine, but when you have so many people walking in at various times some are likely to be missed in the whole process.

Thinking about it now I could’ve conducted it better, perhaps by taking his folks around to meet my friends that they did not have the chance to meet. It was a start, either way, that they got to meet many of them and learned who the rest were later on.

Luckily, I photographed everyone!

We had three very large tables set up in a separate dining room for the party. I was standing between two of the tables taking pictures when someone asked why I was taking the pictures. They exclaimed that I was the bride to be and I shouldn’t be doing that. I looked at them and said, “Because I’m a professional photographer.” Frankly, if I hadn’t we wouldn’t have all the pictures I have of the entire event. I took pics of everyone as couples or full table shots. I was in “documentation” mode. This is where the historical docent personality comes into play… must document everything for historical reasons so that 10-20 years down the road when Chris and I are reminiscing the beginning of our life together either of us can pull up the images and say, “See! They were there!”

When we originally planned for the engagement party we knew that it was going to be his family, my dad, and those we’d asked to participate as bridal party members. I originally planned to keep it fairly small on purpose. I worried quite a bit that some people might get upset about not being invited, but I was trying to keep it to those who’d be directly involved with the wedding AND I didn’t want to overwhelm Chris’ side with a lot of my friends because I have a very large social circle. I mean, since the only family I was likely to have present were my father and possibly my cousin, Jill, then I was going to fill in with coven members and some close friends, all of whom I consider family.

This was great in theory, but…

Chris and I attended a party last month. I was sitting there listening to the conversations around me when I overheard one of my bridesmaids say that she was going to be out of town the same week as our engagement party. So I leaned forward and gave her a quick, “What?!” to which she explained that she’d be back by the 6th and not to worry. Ok, no prob. However, another girlfriend sitting near her, who was not invited to the party asks, “What’s on the 6th?”

Ok, I will readily admit, I make a terrible liar. If you want to know ANYTHING just ask me the question when I’m not expecting it. I will tell you the truth without realizing that perhaps it wasn’t the best answer at that moment. By nature I’m a pretty damn honest and will often tell it like it is, but I’m also aware that sometimes tact is necessary. This was one of those moments and I just blurted out, “Oh, my engagement party!”

Ugh! Why did I do that? I could have simply said, “Oh we’re having lunch”, but no, I didn’t think that quickly. I suck.

She wasn’t happy. If she was kidding, it didn’t seem like it. I felt like crap AND I was annoyed, all at the same time. I don’t like to disappoint friends or let them feel like they aren’t friends, but I was annoyed because it clearly didn’t dawn on her that there was a reason she hadn’t been included this time. It wasn’t like she wouldn’t be included in other gatherings or the wedding. Good grief, we’re doing all we can to make sure we can have a celebration that includes ALL of our friends and family, but it’s not going to be easy. Also, this is MY engagement party… why is she making it about her?

I was upset about her reaction; it put a bit of a stop to the momentum of the party for me. I went to talk with Chris about possibly opening up the guest list to include a few more friends, including the one whose feelings were just hurt, to help prevent any more hurt feelings. We discussed it and he thought it would be fine, so as soon as I could I added in a few more to the invite list. We did have a limit. The room only held 50 people and we now had 64 people on the guest list!

Sometimes I will invite friends or family that live out of town to my events on the off chance they can make it, but even if I know they’re unlikely to attend because of distance I want them to be aware that the event is happening and know that I wanted them there. This time I invited my siblings and birth mother, all of whom live out of state so, despite the higher number, I was aware they were unlikely to attend events prior to the wedding.

Sunday arrived and we got to the location early. We waited for a bit before people came in. While there I saw a status update from one of my bridesmaids stating that she was uncomfortable with large crowds and with 47 guests expected, only knowing a handful of them, she didn’t think she’d be particularly social, but she was still excited about going and being part of such a happy occasion. At that moment I realized she was facing a fear for me and Chris. It was incredibly sweet and deeply appreciated!

Unfortunately, a few of my bridesmaids were unable to attend. One lives in Alaska, one lives in San Jose, CA, and one was called to duty at the last minute for the weekend with the Air Force Reserves. Each one was understandably unable to make their way to Orange County for a 2 hour lunch, but I know they’ll be there on “The Big Day”.

I had a nice lunch, but I will admit that I felt something was missing. Perhaps Chris and I should have toasted those attending and thanked them. I kind of hoped Dad would say something, like a toast, but he didn’t. And again, I’m regretting not doing a better job of ensuring Chris’ family personally met everyone. I know, there’s nothing I can do to change what’s happened or rather, didn’t happen.

Overall I think the gathering was delightful and I am grateful so many people were able to attend.

Oh, and a bit of a funny fact… the girl at the party that was upset at not being invited… She was invited. However, she never opened the invitation, it was sent through Evite.com, and thus never attended the event.

*shrug*

RANDOM MUSIC

I love Barenaked Ladies! Most of their music makes me feel happy. I’m just not sure how I feel about their music since Steven Page left. I really enjoyed his voice in their songs.

Barenaked Ladies – Sound of Your Voice