Tag Archives: social media

Q&A – Family Tension

A question from a fan: “Hi MistressPrime, I hope u can help me. I’m Wiccan my family knows and some of them don’t approve because they’re conservative Christian. They’ll leave bible verses or comments that push their beliefs on my Facebook page. They say things on my posts that hurt my feelings. It upsets me. I don’t get why they can’t see my point of view. How can I deal with them but also not create more problems in the family? Thanks for ur help! Caitlin”

Hi Caitlin,

I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this. I responded to a similar question on a FB group post recently. It’s the holiday season so family and drama, especially around differing religions, has a tendency to ramp up this time of the year. I’m going to share similar advice that I gave to the person in that group.

Let me start by saying navigating differing religious perspectives and family on social media is a tricky pain in the ass. Understanding that your pushy Christian family members may feel it is their duty to save you from “the devil” means that nothing you say about what you believe, especially if it’s anything other than Christian, will ever soothe their discomfort or even shut them up. So, you have options…

The most passive option is that you can ignore their posts and comments on your page, but leaving it there will be a reminder and a continued form of oppression that will build resentment between you and those family members. In my opinion it’s not the best course of action, but it could be the lowest risk of family drama. Also, If they are comments on a post, you can Hide them. Go to the three dots (…) when you hover over their comment. Select Hide.

Another option is you can screen capture the thread, this way you can ensure you have their whole comment and it’s context, and then delete the comment. This allows you to cover your backside in case anyone in the family disputes what was actually said on your page. I learned this the hard way in a similar issue with my family. Unless they’re looking regularly at your page there’s a chance they won’t even notice it’s gone. Now you can drop it from there and move on or you can choose to talk privately with that family member and explain how their comment was hurtful to you.

If your family regularly leave these kinds of hurtful comments on your page, but you’re afraid to unfriend them because it may cause further family drama I would recommend the privacy settings option. Keep them on your friends list, but add them to a custom list. If you put them on the Restricted Friend List that option gives them access to only your Public posts and information. Putting them on the Acquaintances Friends List means you would need to set your post’s privacy settings to Friends minus Acquaintances to prevent them from seeing any particular posts, but they would still be able to see anything that’s listed as Friends Only or Public. You can further protect yourself if they posts a lot of things you find objectionable on their own page by Unfollowing their pages entirely. This maintains you’re still on each other’s friends list but you no longer see their page updates in your Home Feed. You can still go to their page to read their posts when you want.

Now you also have the option to Unfriend. This has a greater potential for blowback, so choose this option with that knowledge. People get seriously butthurt over being unfriended on social media. But I will add, in some cases this can be the best option, especially if you’re being harassed by family who don’t seem to respect you or your decisions.

The most extreme option is Unfriend and Block. This option is burning the bridge. Also, your family may possibly report back to them what they see on your page. And again, in some cases this may be the best option to help maintain one’s personal well being and limit the toxic interactions.

If possible, I would recommend against arguing in the comments with them because, in the end, it’s just not worth your emotional energy to try to change their mind on FB. A discussion in person, or at the very least by phone, rather than through text where your intention might be misunderstood and could cause greater misunderstanding and additional unnecessary pain is a prefered choice. You have a greater chance of being understood. Granted, they still may not hear you, but there’s a better chance than by text.

In the end, know that YOU aren’t creating this tension in the family. They are. You aren’t the one trying to impose your perspective upon them. You should not feel bad or at fault about what they’re doing to you.

Whichever choice you make, I wish you the best of luck!

Spell for Honest and Wise Communication

Use the spell when communication patterns have become stale, negative, limited, or dishonest.

Materials:

  • Two pieces of paper
  • Writing utensil
  • Clear jar
  • Salt
  • Dried or fresh Sage

Spell:

  1. Write your name and the name of the person with whom you wish to communicate on two separate pieces of paper.
  2. Fill a clean, clear jar with salt and a handful of dried or fresh Sage leaves.
  3. Place the two papers inside the jar. Don’t put the lid on it. Leave it open.
  4. Gently swirl the contents of the jar until the papers are completely submerged in the salt and Sage as you envision yourself having a productive, wise, and honest conversation with the person in question.
  5. Leave the jar in the area where you’re most likely to come in contact with the person, or alternatively, take out the two slips of paper, fold them together, and keep them tucked inside your pocket during conversations.

*************************************************

Found in Llewellyn’s Witches Spell-a-Day Almanac

Cybersecurity: Russian Hackers, Privacy, and You

WordCamp

In 2016 I attended my very first WordCamp Orange County. Since then I have been able to attend 3 more; Los Angeles, San Diego, and again this year at OC. This year I was invited to give a presentation about Cybersecurity at WordCamp Orange County, I chose to discuss privacy aimed at the average user. It was my first WordCamp presentation.

WordCamp is a conference that focuses on everything WordPress. WordCamps are informal, community-organized events that are put together by WordPress users like you. Everyone from casual users to core developers participate, share ideas, and get to know each other.

Cybersecurity Presentation

Much to my surprise, the organizers had scheduled my talk just before lunch on Saturday. This maximized my opportunity to have people attend my event. However, there were other presentations and talks going on at the same time. Because of this, I was surprised to see the room was so packed it was standing room only. I have so much gratitude to have received a lot of positive feedback. The WordPress community is very encouraging.

Here is the video of my presentation:

UPDATE 4/13/18: One thing I would definitely roll back on is my stance regarding LifeLock. At the time I considered the service worthy of purchase… until the Equifax data breach. After the breach, they were pushing those who were affected by the breach to purchasing LifeLock. Knowing how poorly Equifax managed to secure everyone’s personal info AND that they owned LifeLock left a really bad taste in my mouth. We canceled our accounts with them right then and there and froze our credit.

References

PARADOXPRIME INFORMATION ASSURANCE

Social Media Saves Lives

Today a friend found and reposted images of posts they pulled off of a Facebook profile where the person posting claimed they were planning to go on a shooting spree at Antelope Valley College. She included a link to the person’s profile to prove the images were legit.

By the time I saw her post and opened the link to his profile 153 people had shared his threatening post. Sadly, 7 people had “liked” the post. (Seriously, why?)

John__blank

Sharing this info and the image was good to help notify friends going to that school, or that live in the area, so they could be aware. Unfortunately, I have no way to tell how many people called the Lancaster, CA police, but I was one of them. Granted, by the time I saw the Facebook post it was 5 hours AFTER the posted threats.

On the phone I was informed by Lancaster PD that this person was in custody.

Wonderful!

Look at it this way… If it’s just a poor taste hoax, he needs to understand that it’s not funny and there are consequences for such actions. If it’s a genuine threat, then social media helped save many lives today and hopefully this person will be given the help they need.