Tag Archives: Yvonne Conway-Williams

“Women dialog differently with each other.”

Last year, after attending Social Media Mastermind OC (#SMMOC) a group of us got together for lunch. The ladies present were all very active and involved in WordPress. A discussion took place about creating a Meetup for women who use WordPress. We were all very inspired by this concept and thus a new group was created; Women Who WP.

For the last year I’ve spent far more time involved with the WordPress community in ways I never previously imagined. I attended my very first WordCamp last June at WordCamp OC, then WordCamp Los Angeles in September. Both were extremely informative and wonderful experiences. Next weekend we’ll be down south for WordCamp San Diego. I’m looking forward to another fantastic weekend learning new things and spending time with amazing people.

One of the more interesting things that I observed at WordCamp OC was how many women attended. It was nearly 50/50. This was very encouraging. Most of the tech related events I had attended previously were male dominated, especially in the security topics.

This month Women Who WP celebrated a year. We had a large turn out for our monthly event that included dinner at Mimi’s Cafe (sponsored by DreamHost) and a presentation on Flexbox by Jacob Arriola. One of the Meetup organizers, Bridget Willard, interviewed two of the regular attendees for WordPress TV: Carin Arrigo and myself.

Perhaps one of the best parts about getting so involved with WordPress are the friendships I’ve formed with some of the most inspiring people I’ve ever met.

“Women dialog differently with each other.”

“There’s nothing like being with people under the same roof.” Carin Arrigo https://videopress.com/v/JLBb1T6Q

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OC Pagan & Witches Meetup Monthly Dinner event – March

This Wednesday March 8th is the monthly dinner event for both the Orange County Pagan and Witches Meetup groups.

If you’re looking to networking with the local Pagan community within Orange County, CA, check out our group and join us for dinner.

OC PAGAN MEETUP

OC WITCHES MEETUP

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Orange County Pagan Meetup ©Yvonne C. Conway

 

 

Butch

5 years ago today, my birth father passed away; one month before I lost my baby, and over 2 years before I found him.

I wish I could have met him. There are times I’m sad I didn’t get the opportunity to grow up with him and his side of the family, but I am eternally grateful I found them at all. It took nearly 20 years for me to find him.

I swear to you, I feel he must have helped guide me to find my sister so I could connect with her and the rest of his side of the family. The series of incredible luck it took for me to find her was just amazing. One right after the other in a rapid succession within hours.

My birth mother gave me two names to find him; his name and his cousin. His cousin’s name was unusual enough that I knew it would be easier to find him than Butch. Since 1995 I regularly search online for Butch and his cousin, but I was never able to turn up any results. I would call information in Hawaii looking for either of them. I had even talked with someone from a veterans group to help search for his service records. What I didn’t know was that Butch wasn’t his real name.  I later learned it was a family nickname. This explained the great difficulty in locating him .

In 2011, and as it turned out, just weeks after he passed away, I did a search, like I had done so many times before, for his cousin.  For the first time I got a hit. I got an actual street address for him. I wrote down the address and then stared at it for a long time.

Now what?

I mean, what do you write to the cousin of your birth father, a man who never knew you existed, and it’s been over 40 years? “Uh, hey! So I’m your cousin’s unknown 41-year-old daughter and, uh, I just wanted to say hi.”

Like, seriously?!

So I sat on the address.

In 2014 Chris and I were preparing for our big wedding and I was in the midst of writing out the wedding invitations. I turned the page on the notebook I was using and there was the cousin’s address… staring at me.  Well, I was already in letter writing mode and I figured one more couldn’t hurt. Besides, what was the worst that could happen? They don’t respond, or it gets returned. Then I was no worse off than I already was.

I grabbed a blank card and proceed to write-up a basic letter with my origin story.  I started with who I was, why I was writing, the story my birth mother gave me about the cousin and my birth father, and the various ways I can be contacted. I even told them to Google me, there’s plenty of pages and video interviews out there if they need more info.

I will admit, there was a tiny part of me that worried they’d see I was a witch and simply never bother to contact me. However, there was nothing I could do to change that fact. Fact is I’m as out of the broom closet as one can get.

About a week went by and a woman I believe was the cousin’s wife friended me on Facebook. I woke to find the notification and was in minor shock. I think I called Chris at work quite excited about it.  I spent about an hour or so looking at her page, mostly scanning her friends list to see if a Butch or anyone with his last name was among the many names. At the time I didn’t find anything.

I scanned her page, saw a neat hula video, and pressed “like”.  That did it! She not only unfriended me, she blocked me completely.  I was incredibly devastated. This was the closest I had ever come to finding him in nearly 20 years since I found my birth mother and learned who he was and it seemed that my best connection to find him was now gone. I was beside myself and unsure what happened or what I should do next.

Fortunately, I remembered some of the names on her list, like her daughters’ names. Oddly, this was the breakthrough I needed! Within the friends lists of her daughters’ I was able to find tons of people with my father’s last name. Every profile with his last name I opened as a new tab. I had over 20 tabs open. I scanned the names and came across two women of which I thought at least one might be his wife. Later I learned I was right on the second name. I searched both of their profiles for Butch, but at the time I didn’t find anything.

I went through a lot of info, scanning for anything that might help me connect with Butch. While I was going back and forth through the profiles I kept going back to the second woman’s page and somehow I opened up a photo album I hadn’t found previously that just happened to be nothing but pics of Butch. I looked at the caption and realized I found him! To be honest I was beginning to think the info my birth mother gave me was incorrect, but there he was.

Just then my father, Ron,  walked down the stairs. Coincidentally he was heading to the airport to spend the week at a family reunion. I started yelling, “I found him!” as Dad was walking toward me. I was so excited! Dad walked over, I pointed at the computer screen to show him. He was really happy for me.

The first pic was of Butch in the early 70s, not long after returning to Hawaii from the Vietnam War.  More pics after that showed him in uniform in various countries.

Eventually I realized all the images were posted on the same day. Then as I read the picture comments it took a second to sink in.  They were all past tense.

“He was…”

I then paid more attention to exactly what people were writing and realized he had indeed passed away. I missed him by just over 2 years.  My heart sank. I sat there for a while crying over a man I never got to meet and who never knew I existed.

As I sat staring at one picture I read a comment from one woman, “Daddy was…” Daddy? I have a sister!

I already had her profile open among the many tabs still open. I went through her profile and discovered she ran a  Hawaiian language and culture organization in Las Vegas. I opened the link to the organization’s website, but discovered there was no phone number and the link to their Facebook page was not functioning. Most of the info on the page seemed to be about 2 years out of date. I really wanted a phone number. The idea of trying to reach her by email seemed like my chances were less likely to connect with her if I didn’t have direct communication. I searched on FB directly to find the organizations page and much to my relief there was a Las Vegas phone number.

I admit, I kinda freaked out for a minute before making the call.  Like the letter to the cousin, what does one say to a sibling that did not know you existed? I mean, these are weird conversations and I hadn’t yet found a Hallmark card that was suitable for this situation.

I was worried if I called her she might be defensive and possibly not believe me. I was so worried about being rejected, but I sucked it up and called her.

For a change I exposed my blocked number so she wouldn’t think I was a telemarketer. However, I got the voice mail and unfortunately, it was not in English. It was all in Hawaiian and I sat there stumped. I had no idea what it said and when the beep came I had no idea what to say, so I hung up.  Fortunately, because I didn’t keep my number blocked, she called me right back. She asked if anyone called from my phone number. I said yes and told her, “this is likely to be the strangest phone call you’re ever going to get” to which she replied, “it already is.” I then explained, “if you’re who I think you are then I’m your sister”.  I feared I’d hear the phone disconnect, but she was still there so I told her the story I was given from my birth mom about her time dating Butch. I gave her all the info I was given. For my sister, the info matched up.  We talked for 45 minutes that day.

This all began around 11am that day and I was on the phone talking with my sister by 5pm. It was a crazy emotional rollercoaster day.

As luck would have it I was planning to be in Las Vegas the week after our wedding for a friend’s wedding.  We chose to meet that Sunday for dinner. My husband sat there listening to us talk. He observed that my sister and I lead different, but very parallel lives.

I’m sad Butch isn’t here for me to meet him, but I’m grateful to have found his family. They’ve been just amazing. Hopefully, next year I can travel to Hawaii to meet the rest of the family.

Kona Blend

My father and his brothers formed a band, Kona Blend. They put out two albums that can be found on YouTube, iTunes, and Amazon. This is the first song my sister introduced me to as we were driving around Las Vegas on our way to an amazing Hawaiian place for lunch. That’s my birth father, Butch, singing.

Original Release Date: April 26, 1979

Ask A Witch – Guest Host

Yesterday I received a message from the producer of a radio show called, “Ask a Witch” on the Pagans Tonight Radio Network. The hosts for the show had called in sick and she needed to find someone to cover for the 1 hour show and asked if I was available. She was aware that I have previous working experience in radio.

Now, let me just say, working regular FM type radio is not quite the same as working internet podcast type radio, so there was a tiny bit of a learning curve there. The main thing is talking over one another. While it’s not the best thing to do in general, it’s easier to prevent when you’re sitting face to face talking into mics. However, when you’re talking to one another, through a network, on the phone and half a country away from each other it’s slightly harder to recognize until it’s too late and the system seems to make it worse with some echo. It’s one of the reasons I’m not a big fan of VoIP in general.

All that aside, the experience was fun. Pam and I had a lovely time chatting. I answered a handful of questions and we talked about a variety of topics.

I was again presented with the opportunity to have my own radio show. It is being considered, but more in-depth discussions need to be had with my husband.  He’s intimately aware of how full my plate is and that some things might need to be taken off to make room.

If you’re interested in listening to Monday’s show you can find it here. I’m on the first hour of the recording.

Enjoy!

LISTEN HERE:
Tonight: Lady Brigid and Kazan are taking the night off after a long weekend. Please welcome guest host Yvonne C. Conway-Williams (MistressPrime)

Our National Anthem

Again? How come folks keep confusing other patriotic songs with our national anthem?

After waking up in the middle of the night I checked Facebook and found an odd trending topic that annoyed me enough to get downstairs and onto my computer to compose this post.

Once again people are up in arms over our “national anthem” being disgraced and disrespected. However, what they’re mad about and what’s actually happening are not the same thing. The sad part is, we went through a very similar situation 2 1/2 years ago and people still can’t seem to remember what song our national anthem is.

During Super Bowl 2014 a whole bunch of people showed the world how idiotic they were by getting bent out of shape about Coke using the song, “America the Beautiful” sung with an assortment of languages. Personally, I found it to be a lovely testament to our “melting pot” nation by highlighting the cultural diversity of our population. However, people were angry about it. Much of the absurd outrage centered around two thoughts: if you’re in America you should speak English and that the “national anthem” was being disrespected and desecrated. Um… wait a minute. Isn’t the national anthem a totally different song?


2 years later, Gersh Kuntzman of the NY Daily News, has made a suggestion that Major League Baseball stop asking fans to rise and remove their hats, for “God Bless America” during the 7th inning stretch.

Again, people are outraged. How dare Kuntzman suggest MLB drop the national anthem from baseball games!

Eh, what?

I feel people have every right to be outraged and complain about the massive amount of disrespect toward our national anthem, because it’s obvious many folks don’t even know what song our national anthem is and THAT is the real disgrace.

Not so subtle hint: it’s “The Star Spangled Banner”.

Perhaps understanding HOW “The Star Spangled Banner” came to be will help understand why it is our national anthem? Maybe?


And now for your listening pleasure, our national anthem, The Star Spangled Banner, sung by the Kentucky All State Choir.

“Every night of the All State Choir conference at about 11pm, everyone comes out to the balconies of the 18 story Hyatt hotel to sing the National Anthem.”